Like so many ineffective charitable organizations trying to come to a mutual decision, the “to be” verb can wring its hands and drain the life out of your writing.
Consider this example:
Our goal is to pave the way for sales to create and land opportunities. We will be delivering content for the next platform.
These two sentences have been robbed of their power by an overuse of the verb “to be”. Along with its only slightly more energetic mate, “to have”, “to be” is very passive.
As in life, sometimes “being” is perfectly acceptable. Other times, action is required. Being is important and is therefore important in writing, but only where appropriate. To improve passive writing, I check the vicinity to find other more powerful verbs stymied by the “to be” verb. In the example above, I found “pave”, “create”, “land”, and “deliver”—all excellent verbs that when set free, will transform your writing.
Here’s my revision:
Our goal paves the way for sales to create and land opportunities. We will deliver content for the next platform.
Read my latest posts:
Cargo Temperature Monitoring Helps Reduce Hunger draws an interesting line between food security, food wastage, and the trailer temperature monitoring solutions Webtech Wireless provides in the transport of food.
Aging and Accessibility Go Hand-In-Hand describes baby boomers create demand for universal design. September 23 to 29 is Active Aging Week, and Canada’s aging boomers are smoothing the path for people living with disabilities.
4 Healthy Ways to Reduce Engine Idle showcase idling and its affects on health. As parents idle in front of the school, important lessons are being learned—and lost. Why not introduce your family to a few new habits and skills?
There must be some form of critical mass that, when reached in corporate writing at any rate, causes others to start publishing your work even without you knowing it (not that I mind). On opening the June issue of BC Tech Magazine (page 60), what confronted me was, well, myself. I could also see that a new and unseen hand had left his or her mark on my work, particularly around stylistic sensibilities such as changing our corporate branding (I would never do that). On the use of verbs, though, it still carries my thumb print. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to using verbs for maximum punch, and to that end have classed some as ‘weak’ or ‘vague’ while others as ‘strong’ or ‘descriptive’. I was pleased to see them unmolested by the phantom new editor.
Imitation is the highest form of flattery, they say. That was the case for me this week as I discovered my article based on an interview with Troyer Ventures for a Webtech Wireless award application has appeared (in print) in the BC Tech magazine. How did I not know that?
Distracted Driving: Legislate or Implement? reveals the connection between the recent settlement by Coca-Cola to a Texas woman injured when struck by a Coca-Cola truck driver who was on the phone while driving. I created a new image for this because we agreed that, on a scale of one to ten for suitability, my “Telematics: It’s the Real-Time Thing” probably rated a nine.
Is Your Favourite Summer Sport Covered? advises you to, before undertaking a dangerous summer sport, consider whether or not your extended coverage includes extreme sports.
Summer Driving Tips describes some tips provided by ICBC to help keep the roads safer this summer for both drivers and cyclists. It’s a good news story.
This week has been much more about meeting people than being the scribe in the corner. I’ve got a fistfull of business cards after visiting the EMSCC (emergency services) convention and trade show at the Westin Bayshore. Then, in the evening, I was wined and dined at the Vancouver Trade and Convention Centre as a guest (on behalf of Webtech Wireless) to the annual British Columbia Technology Association Industry impact awards (TIAs). In part to me interviewing our client, Troyer Ventures, and writing the award application, we were nominated and last night, we won! The following day was a mad montage of assembling all the copy including a news release, new Home page, and new blog post (listed below):
I wrote the content for the new Webtech Wireless Home page and photographed and photoshopped an image of our award. It, being glass, was quite a challenge, but eventually I prevailed.
I also slammed together a rather festive blog post describing the event for the Webtech Wireless blog. Our winners were holding their glass awards toward themselves, so I had to flip the image (and therefore some buttons on jackets) for the best effect.
Once again, this week has seen much work that is as yet unseen. I’ve been talking to project managers in Iowa, sales managers in Montréal, and managing editors in southern France, but none of that work is going to be published this week. Instead, I have several technical stories festoon my gallery of corporate blog posts. Enjoy!
I worked with Product Marketing Manager, Irtiza Zaidi at Webtech Wireless to describe his experiences at the Petroleum Safety Conference in Banff, Alberta a couple of weeks ago. The oil and gas industry is extremely dangerous and technology is one way to keep drivers (and those using the roads) safer.
Summer Driving in BC: How Safe Is It? describes how reduced truck inspection, increased highway usage, and distracted driving conditions, are making BC’s roads increasingly like a “war zone”.
How Safe Are Your Government Disability Benefits? describes various ways public sector disability benefits are being eroded by government action and inaction. CTV reporting on this is quite revealing.
“Watch out: Canadian(s) about…” is my homage to some great hiking trails I explored in the South of France (around Nice) last December. Le Magazine Azur, where its published, is based out of Antibes. While being an online magazine, it publishes every two months like a print magazine.
Big news this week is that last week’s gains continue to drive writing efforts forward. The French translation of my first article for Le Magazine Azur will be complete by the week-end, and my application that won Webtech Wireless the 2012 Adoption of Technology award continues to reverberate through that company. CEO, Scott Edmonds, said, “now we can call ourselves an award-winning software company”.
Pro-EOBR Campaign Gaining Ground describes efforts by trucking associations to get the Canadian government to legislate in favour of mandatory electronic onboard recorders (EOBRs). These devices replace paper logs books that drivers use to track their hours. EOBRs are considered safer and more reliable in the industry.
Long-Term Disability: What If You’re Employer Goes Broke? is based on the federal government’s 2012 budget that includes a requirement for companies to insure their long-term disability plans.
Getting The Car Accident Trauma Help You Need is sadly based on a real-life tragedy and serves as the springboard for understanding how to deal with ICBC if you’re in a MVA.
I turned some creative writing into a movie just for fun. It was fun, but it cost money too. In my new little film, I was amused at the idea that our brains grew not to accommodate our needs, but exactly the other way around.
This has been another epic week of writing for me, although some of it won’t appear online just yet. For example, I just wrote an article for Magazine Azur, but its awaiting translation to French so it won’t be published for a few more weeks.
On May 2, 2012, I attended the BCTIA Techbrew event where it was announced that Webtech Wireless was nominated for the Adoption of Technology award. I pre-wrote this blog about the event to which I updated and added photos later that night to be ready for its scheduled release at 5:40 am PST (early enough for eastern readers).
I found out that the agency that looks after Webtech Wireless’ news releases particularly mentioned the quality of the Quadrant Manager Mobile news release I wrote. I haven’t been writing a lot of their news releases, so that’s great to hear.
Stay tuned for an article in Magazine Azur (it’s written and submitted, but not yet published). Two Canadians—one English; one French—experience the trials and triumphs of travelling in the south of France. I wrote the English and my friend and fellow traveller, Sylvie Soucis, is translating it into French. “Où est le &#@* train.”
Celebrating Mental Health Week: May 7-13, 2012 describes the loopholes private insurers use to elude quite valid claims from people who pay for private insurance.
May is the Month of Motor Safety is another timely blog post based on a recent news release from the Vancouver Police Department’s announcement that it will be targeting dangerous drivers in May. I go on to warn of the dangers of entirely trusting one’s accident claim to an ICBC Adjuster. AS a public entity doing the work of a private insurer, ICBC is in an ongoing conflict of interest with every claim it settles.
I wrote an article called, Long-Term Disability Claims: A Cross-Country Check, which highlights stories across Canada affecting those with long-term disabilities. I didn’t know there was a Rick Hansen coin?
I’m in such a state of production, that I didn’t realize I’d written two blog posts for Webtech Wireless (our goal is one per week), so that’s why there are two.
Webtech Wireless’ InterFleet client, Ville de Québec is among seven finalists for this year’s Intelligent Community award for web savvy and innovative cities.
Quadrant Manager goes Mobile describes the latest, greatest to the Webtech Wireless suite of Quadrant products: Quadrant Manager Mobile for iPad and iPhone.
I researched a quick and wrote a quick ICBC Accident Checklist for those in British Columbia who’ve had a motor vehicle accident and need to know what to do next. There’s a downloadable version you can print and keep in your car too.
As the momentum of my writing picks up, I’m called to produce ever more content with ever more speed. While not altogether abandoning my reliance on adhering to good technical writing skills, it’s really the audience that matters most, so that’s my greatest focus.
At Webtech Wireless, we (the Marketing department) worked tirelessly with Finance to produce the 2012 Annual Report. All were concerned with proper reviews, but also in ensuring this document is readable to our Board, stakeholders, and investors.
Also at Webtech Wireless, the blog post I researched in February went live in time for the many tradeshows now occupying the lives of government snow removal fleet operators. I’m pleased the name, “Are Your Winter Fleet Contractors Worth Their Salt?” was retained.
Long-Term Disabilities Top Social Issues in Forthcoming Alberta Election for the Disability Claim Denied site looks at social issues affecting Alberta, which ever way the election goes.
I should preface this post with “why I love my job” to describe the diversity of things I do. Apart from writing on a diversity of subjects (see below), I’m also busy designing graphics, designing web pages, interviewing interesting people, collaborating, doing some project management, and generally being a techy good time charlie. When I hear people complain about their jobs, I am torn between sympathy and the desire to say, “then quit”.
Long-Term Planning for Long-Term Disabilities describes changes to RDSPs (Registered Disability Savings Plans) in the 2012 Federal Budget. It’s mostly good news for those with long-term disabiliteis, but otherwise off the radar of the Media.
Investment in Lean Technology Powers CP’s Success picks up on the news of the day–CP Rail is posting record profits, despite harsh winter conditions (in the West) and a low stock evaluation. Its adoption of lean technologies such as Webtech Wireless’ Quadrant solution is credited with this success.
How Provincial Budgets Affect Those with Long-term Disabilities is a simple cross-country tour describing changes to provincial budgets that affect those with long-term disabilities. I slightly favoured western provinces (because that’s where the traffic is coming from), and I’m sorry I could find nothing for Quebec.
How Could Your MVA Claim Be Compromised By ICBC’s Conflicts of Interest? describes some of the ways British Columbians are at the mercy of the Province’s auto insurer, ICBC. This is my kick-off blog post for this site.