Like so many ineffective charitable organizations trying to come to a mutual decision, the “to be” verb can wring its hands and drain the life out of your writing.
Consider this example:
Our goal is to pave the way for sales to create and land opportunities. We will be delivering content for the next platform.
These two sentences have been robbed of their power by an overuse of the verb “to be”. Along with its only slightly more energetic mate, “to have”, “to be” is very passive.
As in life, sometimes “being” is perfectly acceptable. Other times, action is required. Being is important and is therefore important in writing, but only where appropriate. To improve passive writing, I check the vicinity to find other more powerful verbs stymied by the “to be” verb. In the example above, I found “pave”, “create”, “land”, and “deliver”—all excellent verbs that when set free, will transform your writing.
Here’s my revision:
Our goal paves the way for sales to create and land opportunities. We will deliver content for the next platform.
Read my latest posts:
Cargo Temperature Monitoring Helps Reduce Hunger draws an interesting line between food security, food wastage, and the trailer temperature monitoring solutions Webtech Wireless provides in the transport of food.
Aging and Accessibility Go Hand-In-Hand describes baby boomers create demand for universal design. September 23 to 29 is Active Aging Week, and Canada’s aging boomers are smoothing the path for people living with disabilities.
4 Healthy Ways to Reduce Engine Idle showcase idling and its affects on health. As parents idle in front of the school, important lessons are being learned—and lost. Why not introduce your family to a few new habits and skills?
I’m constantly confounded by the extent to which subject/verb and noun/pronoun errors cause mayhem to the English language. Consider the following:
Ottawa’s attempts to fast track Enbridge’s Northern Gateway pipeline are just one example.
I am in agreement with the choice of “are” over “is”, because the subject of the sentence “attempts” is clearly plural. Where it gets crazy is in the choice to end the sentence, “just one example”. What could be more singular than that? For what it’s worth, here are my solutions:
Ottawa’s attempts to fast track Enbridge’s Northern Gateway pipeline are just examples of…(content needed from writer)
Ottawa’s attempt to fast track Enbridge’s Northern Gateway pipeline is just one example.
As for this week’s writings, here are just one example…
Pedal to the Metal describes the strange case of the overturned ICBC claim against a fellow racing (and smashing) his corvette in a speedway. In the eyes of the judge, the difference between a motor “racing” event and “training” event is all in the timing.
How to Reduce Dependence on Offshore Oil
describes our efforts to lessen ourselves of offshore oil dependence. One way is to rejig our entire fleet of vehicle to use natural gas; another, is to lessen our consumption through GPS/AVL technology. This time, what costs less is also easy on the environment.
There have been some interestingly overlapping stories this week, which made me wonder which client I’m writing for. Take for example, the news of disability claims denied causing a near 30% increase in complaints to the Ontario Ombudsman’s Office. Along with that, the story mentioned a man suing the Ontario Ministry of Transportation for contamination to his water supply due to excess road salt usage. Wait a second. That’s a good story for my Webtech Wireless/InterFleet client. This must be what multi-tasking looks like.
Below are my blog posts for this week:
Ontario Ombudsman Sees 30% Increase In Complaints describes the increase of complaints including denied disability claims. With Ombudsman, André Marin and his staff beseiged, getting resolution may prove more difficult than usual.
Know Your Insurance Policy describes an interview with Adam Etchart, insurance policy agent at Talbot Insurance Services on the Sunshine Coast. He described the various horrific and unnecessary scenarios people can create for themselves by not understanding what auto insurance they’re buying, or worse, misrepresenting their needs when buying it.
Leaner, Greener Operations Saves Costs for Fleets is a collection of snapshots of how different companies are saving both the environment around them and fuel wastage using AVL and telematics solutions for their trucking fleets. It doesn’t green wash trucking; it just states some greener practices that are emerging.
Okay, it’s a long week (ten days). There’s been a lot of research going on in the background (not ready for release), but the following corporate web-based posts provide the overview. Of note, I finally finished managing the French translation of the InterFleet brochure. The company I’ve hired, Anglocom, is a joy to work with. To me they should form the template for how other companies manage communications and customer service. Thanks to them, I’ve been able to put together a first class brochure confidently in French.
Spinal Care Available from ICBC considers how spinal injuries affect British Columbians. Many spinal injuries result from motor vehicle accidents and every MVA means a trip to ICBC with the risk of your claim not being settled in your best interests.
Big news this week is that last week’s gains continue to drive writing efforts forward. The French translation of my first article for Le Magazine Azur will be complete by the week-end, and my application that won Webtech Wireless the 2012 Adoption of Technology award continues to reverberate through that company. CEO, Scott Edmonds, said, “now we can call ourselves an award-winning software company”.
Pro-EOBR Campaign Gaining Ground describes efforts by trucking associations to get the Canadian government to legislate in favour of mandatory electronic onboard recorders (EOBRs). These devices replace paper logs books that drivers use to track their hours. EOBRs are considered safer and more reliable in the industry.
Long-Term Disability: What If You’re Employer Goes Broke? is based on the federal government’s 2012 budget that includes a requirement for companies to insure their long-term disability plans.
Getting The Car Accident Trauma Help You Need is sadly based on a real-life tragedy and serves as the springboard for understanding how to deal with ICBC if you’re in a MVA.
I turned some creative writing into a movie just for fun. It was fun, but it cost money too. In my new little film, I was amused at the idea that our brains grew not to accommodate our needs, but exactly the other way around.
As the momentum of my writing picks up, I’m called to produce ever more content with ever more speed. While not altogether abandoning my reliance on adhering to good technical writing skills, it’s really the audience that matters most, so that’s my greatest focus.
At Webtech Wireless, we (the Marketing department) worked tirelessly with Finance to produce the 2012 Annual Report. All were concerned with proper reviews, but also in ensuring this document is readable to our Board, stakeholders, and investors.
Also at Webtech Wireless, the blog post I researched in February went live in time for the many tradeshows now occupying the lives of government snow removal fleet operators. I’m pleased the name, “Are Your Winter Fleet Contractors Worth Their Salt?” was retained.
Long-Term Disabilities Top Social Issues in Forthcoming Alberta Election for the Disability Claim Denied site looks at social issues affecting Alberta, which ever way the election goes.